Last night we completed our final class in the hypnobirthing series! I’m so grateful Carter was supportive enough to come to the three hour classes with me over the past four weeks. After finishing his 10 hour work shift, he’d head straight to our class on birthing and hypnosis… poor guy! I don’t blame him for dozing a few times ; ) But really, he’s an incredible support and I’m excited to have him as my birth partner.
Really, though, one of my favorite things about hypnobirthing is its emphasis on the role of the birth partner. As soon as Carter and I found out I was pregnant, we knew we wanted our birth to be a personal, intimate experience. We didn’t want the whole world in the delivery room. We didn’t want family pressing in on us, anxiously waiting to hold our baby before we could bond with him. Carter really wanted to be my support during the birthing process. I wanted this as well, but planning to have a natural, un-medicated childbirth, it is a bit scary having your only companion being a man who has never and will never experience the same thing. I am so grateful for all our hypnobirthing class has taught us about having Carter help and support me during the entire process. He is not expected to stand at the sideline or watch a movie while the doctor and nurses help me. Our plan is for him to be the primary person at my side throughout the birth.
Really, it makes so much sense. Carter knows me better than anyone else in the delivery room. He knows better than the nurses how to read my comfort level (or distress level if it comes to that). He knows what I want in our baby’s birth and can be my advocate if need be. His voice is a comfort to me, as is his touch. With Carter by my side, I’m looking forward to our birth being a beautiful, intimate experience.
So what will Carter do doing during the birth? Here are some of the things we’ve learned from our classes and reading the hypnobirthing book, ways we plan for him to be a support during the birth.
Help me stay in my groove. This is probably the biggest, most important thing Carter will do during the birth. (at least as I see it, never having given birth.. :). If the labor is getting too intense and I am distracted from my breathing or doubting myself, he will help me get back in the groove. Remind me to breathe. Help me get back into my state of relaxation. Affirmations! (remind me of the progress we are making, our baby is getting closer, etc.).
Help me stay comfortable. Carter will try to stay in tune to what changes might be helpful. Maybe suggest a position change if we aren’t progressing. Offer me drinks, ice chips, or snacks. Remind me to empty my bladder.
Advocate for me when hospital staff suggest alternatives that go against our plan. I’m realizing how rare natural childbirth has become. Apparently, it is very common for nurses and doctors to suggest all sorts of interventions to speed labor or make things more comfortable. I’m counting on Carter to be that advocate that helps us stick to our birth plan… even if labor seems to be taking a while!
Physical touch. In watching hypnobirth videos, I have been touched by the gentle touch of the husband throughout labor. Physical touch helps me to relax, so maybe Carter can just hold me or hold my hand (I guess we’ll see what sounds nice in the moment!) We have also practiced “light touch massage” in class, which helps to relax my entire body. He can also support me during certain labor positions, as the need arises.
Maintain a calm environment. He can help me keep my relaxation recordings or music playing. We can take a break and have him read me relaxation scripts. Remind incoming staff that we are having a calm and peaceful birth- keep that standard with every new face that enters the room.
MORAL SUPPORT. I know that Carter loves me, and having him beside me as we welcome our child into the world will be a thrilling, beautiful experience. Whether he is holding my hand in silence or singing to me, I am grateful that he will be by my side. I can’t think of anyone who belongs there more than the person who helped me create this life. Together, we created this life, and together we will help him come peacefully into the world.
Words can’t express the eagerness we feel to meet our little one. I’m now counting down the week and a half left until we are considered “full term”. Waiting for our sweet little one, yet also trying to appreciate this time we have left together. We are trying to take it one day at a time, as we know our lives will never be the same after our little one joins us in the world 🙂
You will be so so happy you choose hypnobirthing to help you in your natural birth. I was able to have two natural births at home and it was truly amazing. I like you was very comforted by my husband’s touch during labor. I found it reassuring even if he wasn’t saying a word. I too felt like very few women I know had natural births/unmedicated, but it was so important to me. You can absolutely do this!! 🙂
It’s so wonderful to find other women who have gone naturally. I am so excited to have a beautiful experience welcoming our little one into the world 🙂
I wish my experience would have been like this. I am so thankful to have two sweet babies if my own. I hope the birth goes well for you. I would love to read about your experience. Good luck with the birth and parenting. It’s all so magical.
Thank you! I hope so too. I know, no matter how it goes, bringing my baby into the world will be a miracle in itself 🙂