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I am so happy to be finally writing this post! I’ve had it in mind forever, but today I finally feel like I can HONESTLY write what I want to say. Without pretense I can say that our sleep solutions are finally working!
Peter had some beautiful long naps today, I only woke up to feed him once last night, and he is putting himself down to sleep really well! (most of the time) Crossing our fingers that we’re finally somewhat in the clear.
Here’s why I’m so excited to share this post.
We opted to try a gentle sleep training method that did not involve cry it out. Our doctor made it sound like crying it out was the ONLY method. This just didn’t seem right for our situation (although I really do believe that every baby is so different and the needs of baby and parents are so different… every mama and papa has to do exactly what they feel is best or necessary for them. I do NOT want to make anyone feel like I am shaming them for how they have chosen to sleep train (or not sleep train) their baby. Do WHAT WORKS FOR YOU.
With that being said, cry-it-out didn’t feel like the best option for us. I didn’t like the idea, and Peter would spit up so much that usually if he was crying it was because he was swimming in curdled spit-up. I wouldn’t want to sleep in that either, so I don’t blame him for crying!
While we are finally figuring things out (at almost 7 months old), this process has definitely been a roller coaster. I have been exhausted and almost caved in. We have also let Peter cry sometimes when it felt like the only option. So really, we’ve done a combination of trial and errors until finally helping Peter get to the point he’s at today.
Still, I wanted to share our experience to motivate others in whatever direction you choose.
I read the No Cry Sleep solution in one day after a sleepless night of waking every hour. I felt like a zombie that day and vowed that I would find a solution. This was probably 2+ months ago….so this has definitely not been an easy process. But at this point I started introducing more of a sleep routine and helping to establish specific sleep associations.
Things were going pretty well until the holidays hit. The whole sleep routine we had started to establish just went out the window. With the holidays behind us, we finally cracked down at the start of January. I started writing this post at the end of January… so it took probably 3-4 weeks to get to where we wanted to be. (Peter will go down for naps and bedtime without tears and generally without one of us having to go in multiple times.)
*Update. When I’m finally finishing this on February 11, 3 of the last 4 nights I have not had to wake up once! I finally had my first full night’s sleep in 7 months (plus more if you count waking up every few hours when pregnant… ). It feels pretty weird…but also lovely.
One thing I loved from The No Cry Sleep Solution is that Elizabeth Pantley makes clear that you need to choose the sleep solution that is right for YOU.
If you enjoy those tender moments in the middle of the night, holding baby close as she or he nurses, then keep it up! Don’t sleep train your baby because your mom, aunt, or even your doctor says you have to. Whatever feels right for your family- DO THAT.
I found her book so helpful though. I mostly used it as a springboard to come up with ideas for our own sleep routines that worked for us. We jumped around to all sorts of techniques. Some days I would fold laundry in the room while Peter played in his crib. Eventually, he would rest his head down and put himself to sleep (sometimes) . Carter would oftentimes snuggle him until he was almost asleep, then carefully move him to his crib and pat his back while he settled down again. I tried to help him into the habit of eating when he woke up (rather than nursing to sleep) so he wouldn’t spit up as much when we set him down. It was just a bunch of little things- whatever we could get to work, really!
We also established sleep associations to help him know when it is time to sleep. This includes keeping the room dark, white noise, etc. Here are some of the products we have loved using.
Swaddle Design’s Transitional Sleep Sack.
We received this as a sample from Swaddle Designs and it was really nice to have in the early stages. Peter started rolling over pretty early (before 4 months) and so we were done swaddling him pretty early. This product is awesome for that transition time. It fits snug like a swaddle but is safe for babies to roll over in. This is great for that awkward time between swaddles and the more traditional sleep sacks.
For a baby who has adjusted to life without a swaddle but still wants something cozy, I have seen people use things like this and they seem to work great! (see options on Amazon below) Peter often sleeps in cozy jammies without any sack now, but I think these can be great for helping babe know that it is sleepy time. Anything they need to create positive sleep associations is so helpful!
Sounds. When Peter was just a wee newborn (like the first days of his life) he could not sleep without being held. He’d be fast asleep, swaddled up tightly, and the moment we set him down he’d let out the sweetest, saddest little cry (it seriously melted our hearts!). The result was Carter and I taking shifts staying up holding him. I remember Carter snuggling him until about 4 a.m., waking me for feedings, and then around 4 we’d switch shifts and he could go to bed. ♥ It wasn’t until we got this machine that Peter finally started to sleep in his cradle! We set it on the heartbeat setting and that seemed to add the extra comfort he needed. Those 2 solid hours of sleep were such a dream.
So yeah… I’d recommend investing in something like this before baby is even born 🙂
We have continued to use this on different settings. For a while it was lullabies and now we just use it for white noise. I have noticed that if Peter is struggling to fall asleep it is usually because I have forgotten to turn this on! It’s also great for sleepovers at other places/vacations/etc. because baby still has some of the sleep cues they normally have at home 🙂
MyBaby Soundspa On-the-Go – Portable White Noise Machine
Below are some other similar options. Some have more options like nature sounds, which is awesome! I do love that the one we got was less than 10 bucks though. Choose what works for you.
Another thing that I feel has been important is helping Peter to feel like his crib is not a scary place. I allow him to play in his crib sometimes while I am doing things in the room and this helps him to feel that he is safe in his crib.
Honestly, the most important is to find what works for you! It feels so good to say that we went with what feels best for us and that, through some perseverance, it is working out. Would I cry I do this solution again? Absolutely! But I might also be open to cry-it-out methods if I felt that was what another baby needed. Every baby is SO DIFFERENT. Do what works for you ♥
I am so happy with the sleep solution we have found. Several of my family and friends co-sleep while others have cried it out. It seems that every person I talk to has had to find what works for them. I hope this post can serve as some inspiration for those who are unsure what to do. If you don’t want to cry it out, but feel like you need to help your baby learn to sleep better, there are options! You never have to take the first option and try only that. Experiment, research, ask advice… but ultimately do what you feel is best for you and your family ♥
Please comment below with any questions you have for me! What sleep solution works for you? Let me know below!
