Peter’s Birth Story

I’m glad I’m finally getting to write about Peter’s birth! I have thought a lot about the experience over the last week and a half since he was born, and I am so grateful for the beautiful experience we had.

I know there are so many conflicting perspectives on the birth process. While reading Marie Mongan’s Hypnobirthing book, I was so moved by her perspective on childbirth. As I prepared myself for Peter’s birth, I determined that his birth would be a beautiful experience. To read more about our preparation through hypnobirthing, click here.

This post contains images of the birth process and breastfeeding that some people may be sensitive to. I have tried to keep the images as modest as possible, but be aware that this is childbirth!

The weeks leading up to the birth

Given my mom’s trend of having every baby 2-3 weeks early, I was sure Peter would come long before his due date. We had all sorts of plans for the end of June and start of July. With my brother Andrew leaving to serve a mission on July 9, we had all sorts of family events, pictures, and farewells planned. But this little baby decided to take his time!

At 38 weeks we learned that he had turned from being head down and was now in the breech presentation. I was nervous and scared of the great possibility that we would need to deliver by C-Section. I had never really considered this might be necessary. With all our preparation for a natural birth, and a perfectly positioned baby at 37 weeks, everything seemed in line for what we had planned! But our little monkey seemed to have his own plans and was busy doing somersaults as his due date approached.

Desperate to fight for the birth we hoped for, I researched all sorts of options for turning baby. We scheduled an external cephalic version (ECV) for the following week (39 weeks) and otherwise planned on a C-Section for that day.

In that week I tried all sorts of things. Positions from the spinning babies website, baby-turning hypnosis scripts (here is the link to the one Carter did with me several times), and a prenatal massage intended to loosen the tight fascia in my hips, hopefully making more room for baby to turn. I heard all sorts of recommendations, from playing music with headphones in my nether regions to having family take turns encouraging baby to turn. I had Carter give me a priesthood blessing, which brought a lot of peace and trust that whatever happened, all would be as it should. Read more about our experience trusting in God with our breech baby here.

We made it to our ECV appointment and found that baby had turned on his own! We were relieved and such proud parents. I was so happy that we again would have the opportunity for the birth we had planned.

This experience had a significant impact on my outlook on our birth when the day finally came. I felt so grateful that our natural birth seemed to be given back to us. It was a gift that God had given us, a blessing. I told Carter to remind me of this when I seemed to be discouraged during the labor process.

Finally in Labor

I started to worry that baby would never actually come! Our due date came and went with only minor contractions. I had had some minor false alarms the week leading up to his birth. I was almost positive we would have a fourth of July baby! It was hard not really knowing what labor would feel like when it actually started.

Sunday (July 7) I was feeling a little off all day long. I had a few mild contractions during the day, felt a bit light headed, and was extra tired. While hopeful, I wasn’t about to get my hopes up again. After a Sunday nap I was feeling a bit better and we played games with family. Near the end of our game night I felt a few stronger contractions. Still quite mild, but strong enough that I couldn’t really ignore them. I told my sister Heidi (who was our wonderful doula) to stay close by in case I really was in labor.

Upon arriving home, I began to time contractions. From the beginning of timing, they were about 3 1/2 minutes apart and lasting for about 45 seconds to a minute. I was starting to feel the contractions more in my back and they were actually getting more intense! Heidi encouraged us to go for a walk if I could. We walked just a few blocks and I needed to stop for some of the contractions. Pretty sure that this was it, we waited another hour or two and then decided to head to the hospital.

You can tell from this photo that I was far from active labor when we arrived at the hospital… but my reasoning was that we could get settled and I could get into my “zone” before things got too intense. I was admitted for an hour, but still wasn’t progressing. They sent us home at midnight, encouraging us to try to get some sleep.

Carter was able to sleep for a few hours. I tried, but after two contractions in bed I couldn’t handle laying down. I took a warm bath, listened to some relaxation scripts, and threw up a few times. My plans of eating during labor didn’t seem so appealing anymore.

I finally woke Carter up at 4, as the contractions were getting strong enough that I felt some support would be good. Carter helped me back into our bath. When I felt the vomit coming again, Carter barely made it back in time with a bowl, but I still made a bit of a mess in the bathroom. Carter sweetly and tenderly, without batting an eye, wiped up the entire mess and cleaned out my bowl when I was finished. This was the first of many instances where Carter was patient, loving, and so gentle during the labor. He was amazing.

We got back to the hospital around 5 a.m.. I’ll admit I was pretty discouraged to find that I still had not progressed past my original 3 cm. They said they would admit me for 2 more hours, after which if I hadn’t progressed I would be sent home if I didn’t want to speed the labor along with pitocin. At this point I was pretty uncomfortable, though it was still bearable. Still, I remember thinking that I wasn’t sure I could make it if I didn’t progress soon. I wasn’t sure what I would do if they sent me home.

The nurse came in to check me again just after 7… I requested that she not tell me what I was dilated to… just that she tell me whether or not I was progressing. I was progressing! (I did have her tell Carter- I was dilated to 4 1/2 cm) Relieved, I prepared to settle in for the rest of labor.

My sister Heidi had arrived just before the nurse confirmed I was progressing. Heidi recently completed her training to be a doula, and mine was the first birth she assisted. She and Carter helped me into the birthing tub, where I stayed for the next few hours. (Heidi just started her doula instagram. Follow her here if you’re interested to learn more about a doula’s role!)

I really think the tub is what got me through active labor. I can’t imagine how I would have done had I been trying to lay in a bed. But that hot water, the position I was able to rest in, and the pressure on my back made the contractions surmountable.

Heidi encouraged me to get out of the tub for another check when I started feeling a slight urge to push. I had no idea what this “pushing” urge should feel like. I doubted I was anywhere close to the pushing phase. But curious, I moved from the tub to the bed for a cervical check around 10 a.m.

This time I decided to have our nurse tell me what I was dilated to, and I’m so glad I did. I was already dilated to an 8! Suddenly what had seemed hard and maybe impossible was so possible! I knew that I could and was going to do this. Carter and I were both caught by our emotions when my nurse said I was at an 8. I started to tear up as I realized how close we were to finally meeting our sweet baby.

It had taken a great deal of energy to move myself from the tub to the bed between contractions. Things were getting pretty intense! I opted to sit up in bed for a bit.

I think around this point, Heidi realized I had been paying absolutely no attention to the hypnobirthing tracks I had brought with me. I was so internally focused that I really couldn’t follow the relaxation scripts I had previously practiced. Everything going on around me was a blur.

I feel like Heidi was so in tune with how I might be helped, and extremely calm and gentle as she recommended various things. She switched the music to my relaxation playlist and offered some light touch massage on my belly, while offering that Carter gently massage my feet. I was scarcely aware of when they started or stopped these techniques. It was all honestly such a blur. I remember a feeling of intensity. I remember that despite the intensity I kept a calm focus on my breathing. I feel like this was my anchor during both active labor and transition.

Yes, it was intense, but I wasn’t really feeling the pain. It’s hard to explain, especially because the sounds I was making probably made it sound like I was in pain. But I don’t remember ever feeling out of control, scared, or the excruciating pain women typically describe.

At this point in labor, I do remember that at one point Carter went to let my hand go and help me in some other way. I held his hand tighter, keeping him by my side. At this moment, what I needed most from him was a hand to hold. I love that this entire time he was right by my side.

After some time sitting in bed, Heidi offered some positional changes. I think at this point, moving honestly did not sound very fun. But as soon as I stood up, I felt great in the standing position. Carter supported me in this position while Heidi continued to apply counter pressure during contractions.

Here is another point where I was so grateful for Carter’s strength and support. I know that supporting me during those contractions was not an easy task! You can tell from this picture that Carter is exhausted. We were both sleep deprived. While he wasn’t physically experiencing contractions, he was such an active participant throughout the entire labor. I felt like he was as close and supportive physically and emotionally as he possibly could have throughout labor.

I believe we stayed here until the nurse said I was fully dilated. I think I pushed here for a few minutes before moving onto the bed. It seems like Heidi offered some different positional changes and I chose what intuitively felt best at the moment. We moved the birthing ball onto the bed and I leaned against it while on my knees.

Everything moved so quickly from here! You can see in the picture above that the clock says it’s about 10:40 a.m..

Hypnobirthing had prepared me with different breathing for different parts of labor. For the final pushing stage, we had been encouraged not to bear down and push. Following the “natural expulsive reflex” (NER), I was to “breathe the baby down”. I found this much easier said than done! Carter was amazing at reminding me to breathe as I had practiced, but the urge to push was honestly so strong. Contractions felt so close together and with every one, I felt my body naturally wanting to push. No matter how helpful Carter’s reminders, I found it really hard not to push. But I was still breathing. I wasn’t bearing down and holding my breath.

The pushing only lasted about a half hour. I was pretty sure I was tearing (which I did), but those final moments of labor were much different from what I’ve heard most women describe.

I knew when the baby was crowning. I could feel the pressure down there and heard the OB enter the room, so was pretty sure that was it. But I didn’t experience the “ring of fire” everyone describes. I was so internalized at this point- so focused on allowing my body to bring the baby out. I felt the intensity of each contraction, felt the need to push, and suddenly my baby was out. It was like one moment he was crowning and the next moment his whole body had slid out!

It was an amazing, I’ll admit strange feeling, as my belly suddenly emptied and I felt something so large leave me. Everything passed in such a blur. Heidi and Carter helped me turn around to sit on the bed and suddenly my baby was in my arms.

There was this remarkably surreal feeling as I met my baby for the first time. Amazement that I had actually done it, wonder at this miracle I held in my arms, relief, fatigue. It all sort of rushed at me at once.

We had some time to get to know our baby. He was brought straight to my chest for skin-to-skin. I remember feeling bad that Carter hadn’t even held him yet. But I was grateful he got that important skin to skin time.

Heidi and the nurses helped us initiate breastfeeding. It was the sweetest feeling to know that my body would continue to provide all that this baby needed to live during these first months of his life. Breastfeeding has been a very tender experience.

Following the birth we had lots of family eager to see our little one, but as this was the day before my younger brother left on his mission, we didn’t have many visitors that first day. We let family know we wouldn’t take calls or visits that first day. I was honestly so grateful for this. Aside from being exhausted and in great need of rest, we got some precious time for the two of us- for Carter and I to bond with our baby and reconnect as a family of three. We could work on breast feeding and skin-to-skin without worrying about privacy.

Heidi was one of the few people who met Peter on that first day. Fitting, as she was there for the whole process! Carter had previously been worried about having others present at the birth, but ultimately we were both SO GRATEFUL for Heidi’s help, support, and photography (she took all of these photos, except the few she is in). She was so respectful of our privacy and gave us all the space and time we wanted following Peter’s birth. We were able to have some special private moments as a new family of three, while also capturing those moments on camera.

As I reflect on the entire labor, I am so grateful we were able to have the natural birth we had planned for. I am so grateful for the amazing supports I had. Our nurses were amazing in labor and delivery. They were so respectful of all our birth preferences and did all they could to ensure our needs and wishes were met. Heidi was an amazing support to both Carter and me. I felt she was very in tune throughout the entire labor process and always offering helpful supports. It was helpful to have a woman beside me who so recently experienced natural birth herself. In preparing for birth, we had taken a class from an amazing hypnobirthing instructor (follow the link to see her information and find hypnobirthing instructors in your area). I read Marie Mongan’s Hypnobirthing book. Both of these preparations gave me the mindset I needed to have my natural birth.

Above all, Carter was the greatest support. He was so present the entire time. He was focused and calm. He reminded me of the breathing I had practiced. He helped me to relax. He held my hand and let me squeeze it tightly. He supported me through contractions. He was a strength and rock for me, despite being sleep deprived and exhausted.

I wanted to share our birthing story not to gloat in my ability or strength to deliver naturally. I wanted to share this to inspire women to know how beautiful birth can be. It looks different for everyone. Whether natural, by epidural, or c-section, birth is beautiful. It is a miracle. Regardless of how you bring your baby into the world, you are bringing a baby into the world. That is something marvelous and miraculous alone. You have nurtured and carried your infant with you for 9+ exhausting months. You are taking on the beautiful role of motherhood. Relish the beauty of your experience, regardless of the unplanned details. Be flexible and open to change. What’s most important is a healthy you and baby. Just savor the miracle of life that you and your partner have created ♥