Bullets shooting through the air. The cries of injured men. The whiz and whirl of modern warfare. And suddenly the world turns to see a woman striding through it all- empowering the ally forces to push forward in combat. To hold their resolve and finish the fight. Staring in awe that a woman is responsible for their sudden success. And all while wearing what looks like an armored, one-piece swimming suit.
I’ve gotten a lot of grief about my opinon of DC’s Wonder Woman movie. Arguments that it is empowering to women, a feminist film, have tried to win me over. At first the villains were just too creapy to me. Then it became an issue with her dress. Why does the female superhero need to be seen running across the battlefield in a scimpy suit labeled “armor”? But then the issue went even deeper. What is it about womanhood that allows us to be empowered?
Please know that this post is in now way trying to hate on DC or Wonder Woman. But I think this and so many other “inspiring” stories about women bring this question to mind.
We marvel at a strong woman in the workplace, a powerful fighter and war hero, a woman who stands for herself and is not afraid of men. This is not bad. Strength, independence, freedom, agency… these are all fundamental aspects of the feminist battle.
But where and why did we start fighting to become men? Why is tough, unfeeling, unforgiving, combative, the ideal? Why not compassion, nurturing, and love?
The feminist battle was started to give women a voice. To put down the supression we had so long suffered. To put away the dominance of men. But somehow in that fight to have our own unique voice, women have begun to put aside what makes them unique.
We are designed to work together, male and female. But we are uniquely different.
One of the hardest struggles has been determining to start our own family. The “feminist” world would ask me why I am setting a potential career aside. Why I am settling for a bachelors when I would love a higher education. Why I am giving up my joys, interests, and marital happiness to have children. I am ruining my body. I am giving up my youth. I am sacrificing too much while I still have time to learn and become something more. I have heard it all.
But a book I found at the library encouraged me to embrace what I know about womanhood. Here’s just a small excerpt
(you can also follow the link below to see the book on Amazon. This is an affiliate link, meaning I may receive a small comission if you make a purchase)
“Historical accounts of… ancient matriarchal civilizations tell us that… both sexes were regarded as equal… Women were deeply respected as birthgivers and nurturers. In matriarchal cultures all over the world, the body of a woman is often depicted as a sacred vessel or container holding the mysteries which create and sustain new life. Her fertility both symbolizes and reflects the regenerating power of living nature itself, not only human, but all life on earth and within the whole cosmos”
Janet Balaskas, Preparing for Birth with Yoga
This is the goal. Equality, though acknowledging our differences. This is womanhood. The God-given ability to create. To nurture. To love and care for.
Do we fully appreciate the miraculous nature of our reproductive ability? That a pair of cells can unite and grow within our bodies to become a living, breathing, feeling, loving human being?
That is what empowers me to embrace my womanhood.
Yes, I feel proud when I can lift the box on my own. Offended when I am ignored in recruiting for “man’s work”. Happy to leave behind the makeup and heels. But I am proud to be a woman.
There is one thing that does keep me unique. That gives me a unique voice and perspective. A heavy mantel and sacred obligation, but I am blessed with the possibility of motherhood. Women who are mothers, grandmothers, sisters, teachers, and role-models. They have an inate ability to create regardless of how they employ it.
So yes, I may applaud the single mother who lifts herself up into becoming a successful business woman. Hard work, diligence, and grit are admirable in any person.
But the real super women to me are the mothers in my life. The women who shamelessly embrace their nature as women. As creators, protectors, nurturers. Not because they are submissive, cowering, suppressed, or controlled by men. But because they CHOOSE womanhood. They are strong, independent wearers of their innate identity and ability. They know who, as women, they are blessed to be. They do not waste time trying to be the other sex, to be something they were not born to be. They embrace with a joyful totality all that they were meant to be.
The feminist battle should not be to make ourselves more like men. To be accepted in the sometimes toxic roles that have, sadly, been expected of men. I do believe that men are created to protect, defend, watch over. And I am so grateful for those who honorably do so. But we also need people to nurture. To have children and raise them to know about the world, to become strong, independent souls of their own.
Feminism should look to the heart of what it is to be a woman, to what makes us unique. Not to what society or politics now expect, but the eternal nature of women. Look to the ancient matriarchal civilizations. Not when women ruled, but when men and women were seen as equal. Two equally crucial, yet fundamentally different halves that construct a working whole. These civilizations were successful, blossoming, harmonic. Men and Women were expected to fill their divine roles. It was not a shame or a pity that a woman was pregnant and ready to birth a child. It was beautiful, even revered. A woman was honored for her ability to create life. She was respected, sometimes worshiped, for this ability.
So as we celebrate International Women’s Day today, reflect on what it means to be a woman. Recall the women who have influenced you the most. And maybe look with gratitude instead of sorrow to the sacrifices they have made to nurture and create.
Womanhood is not easy. But it is special. And it’s not something I’m about to lose in my fight for feminism.
