I never understood how postpartum depression could be a thing. You have just accomplished something amazing. You have brought a beautiful life into the world. You get baby snuggles all day long.
I couldn’t understand how, at such a perfect moment, you could shut down and have anything but elated feelings of being on cloud nine. The way postpartum depression is labeled, it makes you think it’s entirely due to something that’s wrong in your brain. Something that can only and immediatelly be fixed by taking a pill. Talking on the phone with a nurse the other day, she reminded me that
“If you start feeling depressed, talk with your OB. They’re the experts and they will get you just the medication you need.”
I don’t think I’m “depressed” as the dictionary defines it. I haven’t lost the will or ability to get out of bed in the morning and I haven’t had suicidal thoughts. But I have had some hard days. I’ve felt tired, frustrated, unaccomplished… isn’t this the starting point of the spectrum?
Why is it that your doctors don’t tell you from day one how to avoid postpartum depression. Why do they wait 6 weeks to check up on you and see how your’re feeling? Why not give you access to the resources that you need IMMEDIATELY after your baby is born. Or better yet, weeks before your due date so you can begin to prepare yourself for the postpartum period.
As soon as pregnancy ends, all attention turns to baby. New, beautiful baby. Of course this is wonderful! That sweet newborn spirit needs all the love and snuggles he or she can get.
But I think too often mom is forgotten. Wellness checks for baby are regular and thorough. Yet a mother’s appointment 6 weeks after the delivery is more of a second thought.
But here’s the deal.
Maybe hormones are one reason and maybe chemicals in your brain decide to do weird things. But what about ALL THE OTHER THINGS a new mother is experiencing that might make her feel down?
“Risk factors” on mayo clinic include having experienced stressful events during the past year, difficulty breastfeeding, problems in relationships, weak support system, multiple births, health problems with baby, history of depression or bipolar disorder, financial problems, unplanned or unwanted pregnancy…
But what new mother isn’t experiencing at least one of these? These “risks” don’t create chemical imbalance in your brain… they are REAL LIFE STRUGGLES that it is NATURAL to have difficulties overcoming.
I love my baby so much. I am absolutely smitten with him. But that hasn’t eliminated every difficulty associated with this postpartum period.
For me, it has been difficult losing my independence. At the end of pregnancy I was in such a good routine. I would wake up early, go for a walk in the fresh air, do my morning yoga, eat good meals and snacks, and spend time doing things that brought me a sense of fulfillment and productivity. Whether cleaning in the house, working on the blog, or having fun with some hobby, I felt good. I felt accomplished.
But having a new baby has introduced an entirely new twist. Sleep deprivation after waking up throughout the night makes it much more difficult to wake up early and get outside. It is sometimes difficult to get a shower in, much less do what I would like to do.
I have had to completely redefine what an “accomplished day” looks like. It’s hard when there is so much I would like to do with my time. It’s hard when people make comments that “all you do is breastfeed all day”.
The point is, your world is entirely turned upside down. Yes, there is something new and wonderful and beautiful that has entered your life. You have joined a remarkable group of women who are mothers. But it’s okay to not feel elated all the time. It’s okay to feel down and to acknowledge those feelings.
I think the most important things is to notice those things from the start. Don’t wait until you lose all motivation and feeling… find something you can still do, even with your beautiful baby in need. Don’t be afraid to ask for help holding the baby or getting the dishes done. Make a small change so you can care for yourself as well. Baby’s wellbeing is so important, but you will be a much better caregiver if you are also taken care of!
PLEASE share this with fellow mamas. It’s not something that only “the weak” experience. All mothers experience the difficulties of motherhood to some degree and it’s not something to be covered with a drug. We need support. We need listening ears. We need understanding and love. ♥️
If something here resonated with you, please share, comment below or feel free to contact me!
This is very really unique helpful information. keep it up. Thank you so much!
This topic is so important! I have friends who have gone through this. Thanks for sharing ❤️
Great post. Thanks. Lots of mothers need to see this. We need to make sure we are caring for ourselves right along with the new baby, especially when we have older kids relying on us too.
Thank you! It is so true. Mothers can be among the most selfless people, but sometimes their selflessness negatively affects them and their children. It is definitely important to care for themselves, too!